Mrs D

This has lots of potential Georgie. The visuals are very effective and you have obviously thought carefully about the lyrics and the narrative. However, you haven't really thought about framing as most are long shots and you haven't shown movement or any effective transitions. Are you starting with a black screen for that length of time? Also the song is only just over 2 mins and if you plan on cutting more out it will be too short. the ending is also very abrupt. See me for a suggestion on how to use repetition effectively. This needs another draft asap please.